Until We Meet Again

We knew little that morning
that by the break of the next day
we would no longer hold you
For Jesus would summon and you'd be called away.

You and your sister smile and wave to daddy
As we head on out the door
to make the 45-mile trek to mommy's work
we'd made so many times before.

That morning you seemed a bit dismayed
When momma turned to leave you
You sobbed and clung to my leg
As if our fate you somehow knew

Momma held you for a little while
then down you slid to go play
You said goodbye and blew me kisses
than ran towards your sister Shae

The events of that day are not clear for me
Seems I can't even remember my normal routine
Only memories of that horrible night
The darkness, the river, and all that was seen

Please dear God, Take me not them
I pleaded with him that night
they have so much to offer the world
they're so young and so very bright

Scorching tears run down my face
like a freight train it hits me
my babies are trapped under water
and its all on me to set them free

Which one do I save?
and which one do I leave behind?
Knowing once a rescue attempt was made
that my energies must focus on the child that I'd find.

To sever a part of her life
How can a mother make that choice
your empty car seat would then determine
what would be clarified by your sisters voice

The nightmare that I soon realized
would not soon come to an end
You were gone, your sister trapped
our lives in the hands of a friend

Reliving the tragedy once reunited with your dad
one of the hardest things I'll ever have to do
You , the ultimate gift any wife can give her husband,
and now at my hands are taken from him too

I often wonder what might have been
Had I decided not to drive home
all the beautiful memories I've been robbed
I've never felt such pain or felt so alone

Many years have past since then
and our family has grown by two
You now have three beautiful sisters
who believe that you guide them in everything they do

When I close my eyes to see you
I'm finding it hard to imagine your face
every detail once so vivid
seems now there's only a trace

I used to hear your voice
your giggle would echo in my mind
now when I try to listen
only ringing is heard-the annoying kind

this saddens me so very much
for its all I have left
Was I such a terrible mother
to warrant such a theft

Son, I miss you every minute of the day
sometimes I still cry all night
I wonder why you left so soon
there's nothing that will make this right

Still in my heart I know for sure
there isn't a detail I would change
As I would never trade your memory
So too my life now I cannot rearrange.

Your daddy needs you too right now
He seems very tired and weak
you may be our family's only hope
for now our future seems very bleak

I fear your daddy will never forgive
his heart must weigh a ton
"at last, a namesake to take fishing,"
"I cant wait to teach him how to shoot a gun!"

Those dreams will never come for him
and they won't go away
how do I tell him I'm so very sorry
the right words I search for every day

Son, your daddy is the world to me
I hate that I have caused him such pain
However unintentional, the fact still remains
You were in my care that night, and so is placed the blame

however harsh or cruel that seems
its real life none-the- less
our need for every answer or some reason
can rob us of all our happiness

He feels your presence son I know it
and when your spirit is around
he's relaxed and so much more at peace
as if his life once lost, you've found

So please for mommy, grant me this favor
Stay with your daddy everyday
whisper in his ear the answers
I'm depending on you to guide his way

So my boy I'll remember you always
and I look forward to the day
When we all meet again in Heaven
and together forever a family we'll stay









The first year dad
was not too bad
the second not at all
as easy as catching a ball.
Its my first year on the earth
and mommy has given birth
to a dark haired boy
and daddy jumped for joy
baby is gone now
but I want to know how
and mommy cry's all day
and there's nothing I can say
Now I'm much older
and the worlds getting colder
with hatred and pain
it brings me to shame
but through all this
once again big sis
and just as the precious pearl
I'm still daddy's little girl!

Shae Ann age 13

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